my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
