Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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