The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
