Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
