His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
