I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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