Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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