she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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