dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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