My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
