Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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