How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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