She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
