Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
