The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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