Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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