Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she told me i tasted like america
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
