You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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