this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
