I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
