Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
