Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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