He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Less talking, more tequila
Is it penis luge time yet?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
