If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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