is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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