how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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