one two three fourrrrnication!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
