it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
