ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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