sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Me too!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
