Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
