I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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