i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
