i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
