im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
