Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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