Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize