I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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