You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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