3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
