We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
