hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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