Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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