I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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