Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
