he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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