I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
should my penis look like a turkey
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
