I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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