McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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