Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
