It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
