In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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