So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
