'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
