why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You pole danced in your parka.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
